I Hate Clowns

Now, I've been fortunate enough to experience/be witness to some strange, funny things. Take for instance, the story I'm about to tell. Honestly, it'd be funnier if I were able to tell it aloud, just because I have a way with words. What? I really do. Anyway, onto the story.

This actually happened a few weeks ago, but I won't be forgetting it anytime soon. You see, I was driving back from work, down I-275 South, in usual rush hour traffic. There's a part of I-275 where the left two lanes split off and go to I-96 East, and there are always those ass-hats that merge back onto I-275 at the last second. I became a victim on this day.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a car start edging over. I knew the driver wanted to get over, but there was no way, seeing as how I was taking up the space he wanted. Apparently this was not an issue, and the car kept moving closer.

Next comes the part where I lay on the horn and look over to the driver, just to give him that "Hey buddy, our side view mirrors are getting pretty intimate, care to back off?" look. So I turn my head to look over at him, and what do I see?

A CLOWN! A FRIGGIN' CLOWN! And all he/she/it does it look back at me with its stupid mouth agape in happiness/silly horror. It backs off, and I continue on my way, swearing to myself for the next two or three minutes.

In the end, what really pissed me off was the fact that this clown was driving a Buick Rendezvous. I mean, where's the novelty in that? If I see 8 clowns come out of that car instead of an old Beetle, that's not funny! That's just economical! And as far as I'm concerned, clowns are not economical. I really do hate clowns.